(late) Wordless Wednesday: Little girls with fevers and puppy dog ed.

Lost Camera Cord

I lost my camera cord for a few weeks. What really happened is that Brian put it up where it goes, and I didn't think to look there because I knew that is not where I put it.

So here is the catch up. We took our last trip to Cripple Creek Farm with Project Help, well unless we have another, but I don't know about all that. It was a bittersweet day. The first field trip there Lainey was only 2 weeks old, bumping up and down on a hay ride, and Ellis was 18 mos. It was his first ever field trip and I was not going to miss it! Nursing a newborn and all.

Ellis is still playing soccer. The other day he scored a goal, with a ball that wasn't in play on the wrong side of the field. He kicked it in, looked at us, and we cheered with gusto. So sweet.

I kind of made up a recipe with some tips here and there from friends. Cinnamon apple chicken, with cinnamon couscous. It was very good I have to say. I was proud and took a pic.

Lastly we had another home project for Ellis' school. I am no good at these things, but we did okay. We had to recreate him. It was fun, and we buckled up the "Ellis" we made on the way to school that morning. So fun.

That is about it plus the kids are repeating momma over and over and over. They want to get down from breakfast. Have a good day!

Some Monday Things

First of all my boy is sweet. Today when I dropped him off at school, without thinking I said out loud "son come here and give me a kiss" in a very insistant kind of whiny voice. I don't know I had insomnia last night. After I said it, I saw he was already hanging with his two guy friends in class. They all three looked at me. I considered changing it to a hug as to not embarass him. Before I could even give him a chance to back out he game me a big smooch on my lips without even thinking. My boy still gives me kisses in front of his friends. I hope that doesn't have an expiration date. I know, I know, a girl can hope right?

I realized this morning I snuggle my coffee. I do this behavior only when driving with a travelers mug of coffee, but when not drinking i hold it to the right side of my face, and lean my head on it. I feel as if I have done this a while, and just now actually thought about it. So weird. It feels so good and warm on my cheek though.

I am addicted to Pinterest. I see so many awesome recipes and ideas my head spins, then I can "pin" them and they don't get lost in Neverland, and I can share them too. It is awesome, but look at your own risk. It can decrease productivity, and then increase it to insanely high levels do to all the projects you will start.

I still very much love our new puppy, who is turning into a giant. He is sleeping on his back at my feet right now laying on them and keeping them warm. He loves to touch me if possible. We have never had a big dog before, who can just peer into our trash can, etc, but he really doesn't get into any trouble. Plus we have already have been trained in sneaky dog area. Roger, rest his soul, although just a tiny jack russell, was able to get on our counter tops if he so felt the need. He ate a pregnant lady's Christmas bread while she napped from exhaustion. Roger trained us for these things. However, knock on wood, Fisher has yet to use his size to snoop or get into things he shouldn't. Our giant dog, who everybody warned us about, is far less trouble than our 14 lb one, that I still miss often.

It is a rainy day. I am wearing shorts and a sweat shirt. I am about to make a million pancakes to freeze. I love my family. God is way to good to my underserving self. The Titan's won this weekend. Happy Monday!

Thankful Thursday: The Loop

I had a friend do a fb post this week about feeling out of the loop. I can relate to that often. I have many "loops" that I am in, and when I get spread to thin I am really not in any of them, just kind of passing though. I don't know...I know what I am trying to say, but I have yet to finish my latte. My free latte. Thank you very much Mr. Ramsey.

Brian and I started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. Although we are not terrible with money, what could it hurt? The thought of paying cash for everything is very appealing to Brian and I, and I don't know about Brian but I never thought it was really obtainable. Now I do though. If I am baking all the bread my family eats, then I most certainly can be disciplined enough to pay cash for my next couch. Just saying.

So the obvious financial benefits are one reason we are doing it, and the other is that Brian and I are trying to get into our church loop. I really like most of the people at my church, but we aren't at the comfort level yet to make buddies, so this is helping. Yep I am seriously adding another loop. Loops are blessings. Loops must be maintained.

I am thankful for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, and I SERIOUSLY recommend it for anybody, even if you are good with money.

Yesterday I saw two friends at different times, that were once a part of a loop I was in years ago when in college. Over the summer we had a reunion of sorts at our home. Now I had fallen out of the loop, as Brian and I were a little older, and settled down a little faster. Now two of those buddies are starting there families, and we are kind of entering each others lives again. I think it is awesome that we can go over 5 years without hanging out and then pretty much picking up the friendship again like it is nothing. It was never anything personal, just different places in our lives. Our loop is coming back together, and it is nice.

I am thankful for old friends looping back together, and sweet little one month baby girl, Layla Jane, and a soon to be born sweet baby girl Nylah Aniston. :)

Have a wonderful day. Where I live it looks absolutely beautiful. Enjoy the blessings that are so easily overlooked. Be thankful for the loops you are in, and if you are in a dirty stinky rotten loop, for goodness sake get out of it!

Time is Flying

Do you ever look at your kids, or anyone in your life, and find yourself amazed at the changes in them? Do you wonder if you have changed as much?

When Ellis first turned 3, I was unsure if he or I would survive "the trying threes". Lately though, he has been a lot more respectful, and exceptionally sweet. His language, and imagination are unreal, and his bright shiny self is shining through. My pride in who he is becoming as a little boy is swelling over. He is quite the little man, and knows how to pull on my heart strings.

Also watching his faith grow, from nothing really, because we have just recently introduced it in our home, is awe inspiring. Children are so open, and really so close to God. It makes you wonder why it can't always stay that way.

And Lainey. My little Elaine Rose. Her language is taking off too, and her understanding of everything is amazing. She is taking on more of a little girls personality than a babies. She has opinions on everything, and is extremely nurturing. I look at her, and wonder if that was what I was like, before some things in life changed who I was when I was innocent, and had all the self esteem in the world. She is assured, and shiny, and confident. I find myself being more assured because I have an example to set. I am a better stronger woman because I have a daughter to be that way for.

The changes in my kids is awesome. I love that I can watch them grow and change, and enjoy who they are becoming. As these changes happen, it makes me wonder where does the time go? How are my kids already so big. Am I going to blink and them be going to prom? I hope that I don't waste a moment. This special time when I am still so needed by them won't last forever. I have to say though, I am enjoying the ride.

Some More Perspective

A few months ago, about 7 actually, I had a mini crisis with being a stay at home mom. I wrote this post as I worked it out with myself.

Over the last several months there has been many changes in our household. Diet, and eating foods as natural as possible has been a big focus, for one thing. Eating healthier has majorly impacted my life, and health. It has helped me lose weight without trying, WORD! It has brought me to be more appreciative and thoughtful of what we eat, and more prayerful over it too.

So as a result for the first time Brian and are I church going folk. We aren't going for social activities, or because we think we are supposed to. We are going to fill the void, that only faith can fill.

As I have progressively gotten busier, I have learned how to better slow down. I am taking time for myself, keeping centered much better, and keeping things in perspective.

One of the most gradual changes that has maybe had the most impact on me so far is how I see myself and being a mother. I think in this culture it is constantly being pounded into our heads to have a "me first" kind of attitude. Even a few months ago I was feeling sorry for myself and what all I had "gave up" to be a mother.

• First thing is your body, and both my babies never took a bottle. Nursing is very selfless. For the first year or so of their life, only I could feed them when it came to milk. Every night, every time.
• My identity. You are very much not yourself when you fall helplessly in love with a child, and you have this new role, and it is important, and you don't get days off. Unless something awful happens, you are always a mother period.
• My career. I chose to stay home with my children. One reason is because in my family any other option would get some serious scrutiny. So that is what even started me on staying at home. The second reason was as a social worker, there would not be much money left after childcare. Also because of being a social worker, I totally don't trust anybody. Seriously. Then of course when I had Ellis and looked at him, there is no way even if I had planned on working I could have left him. Much to my surprise I turned out being one of those moms. He was mine mine mine. He was 9 weeks old and I left him with my mother for a few hours to go to a wedding, and I about didn't survive. Mine mine mine, that little baby is MINE!
• My social life as I knew it at the time. For a few short months I gave up contact with the outside world. It happens being a mom of a new baby. Then the friends you used to hang with you really can't anymore. Party, cookout drinking fest, movie. Nope. You have to watch your child that you chose, and is now your responsibility. Plus they won't take a bottle anyway. When you stay home you have to start all over with your social life. I had to join a playgroup of people I didn't know, seek out children for my kids to be around, and learn activities for them to do.

So that is what I held onto for a while. Even after nearly 3 years of being a SAHM, I was still resentful of it. I had a hard time seeing the importance of what I did. I didn't see the art of being a mother, the calling of it. One easy way to see how important you are is to imagine that you suddenly had to go away for a year. (It has to be sudden otherwise you know that us mothers would have everything in line for our families.) Would your family operate even half way functionally. Mine wouldn't. The kids social activities, schools, clothes, nutrition amongst other things would fall to the wayside. Brian wouldn't know who what when why where. Of course only to be fair if Brian had to suddenly go away for a year I would be lost too. In a fair family both parents have important roles. Brian is our provider, hello, can't have social activities, school, clothes, or food without money. But he is also the fun parent who makes up games, can always make the kids laugh, the bath giver, broke thing taker care of'er (you like that),and alarm clock setter. But really being the mother and wife is important. It is an art. It is a calling.

I used to cringe at the thought of a mother teaching her daughter "how to run a household". I had it in my head that it was limiting her, and probably for some it might be. Now, however, I have came to realize that running a household is not easy, and of the utmost importance.Whether a working or stay at home mom, it is not an easy thing to do.

Here is how I see things now:

• Yes I lost my body for a while. Nursing really seriously ties you down. Anyone that says, oh no big is full of it. It is not always butterflies and ponies. The heavens didn't open up and pour with love every time my kids nursed. But every once in a while it did. And when they weaned I was sad, because the day they were conceived they needed my body to sustain life. They day they were born the still needed me to sustain life. When they weaned, I was no longer connected to them in that way, although by that time my milk was more of a supplement, than a need. I am lucky that I was able to nurse when so many are not able. And as hard as it was to lose my body for a while, it was well worth it.
• I have made many wonderful friends that I would have never met if not for my children. The experiences and friends that I have due to Ellis and Lainey for exceed the temporary isolation I had when I first stepped into mommydom. When you build a family, you build a life. Children give you much more than the ever take away. They didn't take my identity away, they added to who and what I am.
• As far as my career goes, my Aunt said this and wow did this sink in. You have many more years to work in your life than you do to raise your children. I had Ellis when I was 28, and I had already worked for 12 years. Lets say I go back to work when Lainey is 18, I will be 47. Lets say I retire at 65. That is another 18 yrs. That is 30 years or working, and 20 raising the people I chose to bring into this world. I love my career, and really am looking forward to returning to it one day. I am glad I have my degree. But I am most glad about I have the opportunity to stay home with my kids. It is invaluable to me, although it is not for everyone.

Seven months later I am totally at peace with how everything is. Yes I stay at home, I bake bread from scratch, play with legos, and drive a mini-van. That does not subtract from my intelligence, or who I am. It only adds. Being a good mother takes a certain measure of organization, patience, and stamina. Yes there is nothing fancy about what I do, but what it is is important. I give up my selfish needs to serve my family, and it honestly doesn't even hurt.

Wordless Wednesday: Future Scholars and Disco Dancers Ed

Friday's Fiascoes

Fridays tend to be a hit or miss day around here. I tend to be tired, because although I don't have a 9-5 job, I work hard all week raising children right. So I am worn out, and usually so are the kids. There tends to be fiascoes more on this day than most.

Early this morning Ellis woke with his first ever nightmare. Much to my surprise it broke my heart. The thought of my child being frightened in our home (when the spoon is not in play) broke me into a million pieces. He was completely sweaty, wet, and burning up. Fiasco #1.

This morning the kids were dragging and we were trying to get out of the house to go to the splash pad. If you are familiar all I need to say is Fiasco #2. I totally asked for that one.

Swung by a friends house to pick up something and pay money I owed her for entirely too long. Got stuck in traffic. Fiasco #3

Get home Ellis has a fever. Fiasco #4 Once again my heart hurts for my boy. I use the last of the ibuprofen.

I can't go to the grocery to pick up ingredients for tonight's dinner due to feverish sleeping child. Dinner Fiasco #5

We eat dinner at like between 5:45 and 6 everyday. Brian stopped by the store on the way home, bought food. Dinner was served at 7. Fiasco #6

Lainey screamed the entire time she got a bath tonight, because we made her take one separate from Ellis because he has a fever. Fiasco #7

I held Lainey and rocked her for the first time in a long time tonight before bedtime. We were doing some major cuddling, and I heard Brian in Ellis' room with him. Ellis wanted a story. Brian told his version of the night I went into labor with Ellis. Then after some stall...encouraging he told Lainey's story. Sitting there holding sis tight, kissing her, listening to Brian I have to say: TODAY WAS THE PERFECT DAY.

Thankful Thursday

There is so much to be thankful for. What I have been thinking of most lately is the time that Brian and I get to spend with our children. As they grow up our kids can say "We don't have this thing or that thing" (all thought they better not). I know that they will not have to say my mom or DAD didn't spend time with me, or do things with me. We go to parks, the library, bike rides, walks, and do all sorts of FAMILY activities together. I am thankful that our situation lends us to be able to spend this time with our children. It is a blessing.

I am thankful that Ellis' first week of preschool went off without a hitch. Although I am very cautious of leaving my children, I feel good about his teachers and school. It is a small program, 3 classes. I know every teacher already, Ellis is adapting great. They seem loving, and the program seems to be on pace with Ellis' love to learn. The ability to send my kids to school a few hours a week is such a blessing too. Not for me, I miss them, but it is good for them.

I am also thankful for answered prayers. So so thankful.

Wordless Wednesday

Big Boy Ellis

Ellis had his orientation today for his new school. We all went to see his room and meet his teachers. I can't believe my little boy is in a 3 year old preschool class. One awesome thing is that one of his classmates went to project help with him. It was a good surprise to see her. His teachers seem super sweet, and one went on and on how she loved his name. That makes me happy being that I had a part in naming him and all. Other than Lainey having a class 1 melt down probably due to the fact she didn't a nap yesterday, everything was good.

Oh and of course we got the famous in front of the fireplace pictures, and a ton more.

For the record there is not enough product in the world to get his hair to lay flat this morning.

Lainey insisted on bringing my umbrella and mirror to orientation.

I love my babies. Yes babies. Yes you are.

Homemade Bread Crumbs

So there are a few recipes that I use have breadcrumbs in them and I have never been impressed by the ingredients in them, even before the whole foods thing. It always grossed me out about their shelf life too. So I found this recipe on 100 Days of Real Food and decided to make my own.

I made a loaf of bread that was unsweetened by honey with making my regular loaf. Set it out all night on the counter after slicing, then baked it for 2 hrs at 200 in the oven. Stuck it in the food processor, and their ya go bread crumbs with 5 ingredients.

Art Time/Activity Time

So in my attempts to better structure the kids time, I have started an afternoon art/activity time at the kitchen table. This can be playing with play dough, coloring with markers or crayons, stickers and paper, and one day when I have the will paint. It has done wonders with my meal cooking. They enjoy the activities so much. If anyone has any ideas of other activities that are 15mos-3 yrs friendly let me know.

My favorite creative thing to do is find ways to dress my puppy like a person.

Just kidding, but the kids were cracking up.

Sundays Insight: Baggy Pants Ed

Today before church I had Brian iron some pants for me. Pants that I have not worn in years, pre-pregnancy pants. My clothes aren't really fitting me anymore, so I  thought I would take a leap and try on those pants. I needed something to wear, and they were my nice professional clothes.

I put them on and they looked terrible.

The funny thing it was not because I was popping out of them like a I was an over stuffed sausage. They were so big on me that I could in no way get by with wearing them. So I tried on another pair of pre-pregnancy pants. They were way to big, and looked ridiculous. Tried on a 3rd pair I was for sure they would fit. They were tight back in the day. Too big.

I am not on a diet. I have not been trying to lose weight. I have stopped eating "fake" foods, and I have no clothes that fit because they are too big. I am wearing a pair of shorts right now in the beginning of summer would barely button, and now whey are loose on me.

Today in the sermon our pastor was using the thought of "You are what you eat" to lead into "You are what you sing" Today we celebrated singing as a way to worship. He was talking about how you are what you eat at great length, I thought about that. I thought about how we stopped eating junk, and now my body is starting to look more like who I feel I am, and who I want to be.

I have had a private fear of my kids having the "fat mom". Not that I think of anyone else as being fat, or a fat mom. I just don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me.

Now they will just have the crazy mom that prefers they not eat gold fish. Oh well, I will be around longer that way.

For your body, you are what you eat. For your spirit, you are what you sing. The past 3 months I have been eating whole foods, and singing out of the hymnals on Sundays. I feel great.

Thankful Thursday: Fall is in The Air

Lainey's birthday party quite possibly can be our biggest shin-dig yet. I am waiting for a final count so that I can start buying and buying food, and order a cake big enough to feed everyone. I tried to make the list small, but low and behold we have many coming.

What a blessing that is. We have friends, more than we can count, that are going to come and celebrate with us. It is wonderful. I am so excited.

The weather this past week has been amazing. It has gotten me into full fall preperation mode. Which is different for everybody, but I have washed all of my kids new stockpiled fall undies and socks, neatly folded them and put them away. Now within the month the gentle care neat folding will be over, and they will just be thrown in the drawers, but I think it is very strange that I feel the compulsion to do this. I am buying a few fall outfits on Friday, and within the month will purchase jackets, and maybe even coats. Oh and some more jeans too. Lainey is good to go on tights. I am obsessive yes. Yay for seasons, yay for fall, yay for clean socks and underwear. I am thankful for these. I am also weird.

What are you thankful for today? Who are you thankful for? What can you do so that someone else is thankful for you?

Wordless Wednesday: Library Day/We made Butter!!

Thankful Thursday

I am sitting here looking at Ellis and Fisher hanging out together, acting like they have survived something together. Ellis doesn't like going on walks, Fisher doesn't care for physical activity during the sunlit hours of the day. I made them go on a walk with me, a short 20 minute walk. They are sweaty and panting, and totally buddied up giving me the stink eye. Oh well.

I am thankful for mid morning walks. They are nice and peaceful. Until your dog and 3 yr old son want you to carry them.....

I am thankful for the blessings our family has recieved this week that take a little of the stress off.

I am thankful that all of the things I clicked on at Zulily this morning did not have Lainey's size.

I am thankful for a running vehicle, air conditioner, fridge, oven, and hair dryer.

Have a good day!

Wordless Wednesday: Pretty No, Tasty Yes